When Melly told me this story today I asked her to write it down so I could share this! OMG! I know there are those who don't really understand computers very well, but come ON! They even color code the plugs now days. At least the woman didn't act like she knew what she was doing and followed instructions well (except for the color codes apparently!).
Enjoy! Comments that she added after the event are in italics.
I am the help desk person for the place I work. Here is one of those tech calls from hell.
(Melly – M, Them – T)
T: Hi we can’t boot the server.
M: Ok, I’ll help you with that. Do you get an error message?
M: What does the error message say?
T: Keyboard not connected.
M: Do you have a keyboard attached to it?
(Why am I not f-king surprised!)
M: Can you attach a keyboard to it?
T: Yes, I will do that.
M: Please do so and then turn pc off and back on again.
M: Do you still get the error?
T: Yes says no keyboard attached.
M: Does it say anything else?
T: Yes hit f1 to continue. I tried to hit f1 there is no f1.
(I should have said please turn of the pc and do not touch it tell I can schedule a time to come fix it, But I having patience of a saint… *GRIN*)
M: Explain, At the top of the keyboard above the letter and number keys there is a row of keys f1, f2, f3,f4, etc see them?
T: There are no letter or number keys.
(Of course at this point I am wonder what the f-k did she attached to the pc?)
M: What does the object look like you attached to the pc?
M: It looks just like the other one attached to it?
(I think for a second and ask.)
M: Oval shaped object with a wire attached to it?
(I didn’t dare say mouse, probably scared the dumb ass)
T: Yes there are 2 of them. (Why do vulgar names come to mind right about now?)
M: Please unplug the mouse and go ask someone else to get you a KEYBOARD
(I spelled it out had her write it down too. With specific instructions to have someone else install it the keyboard.)
T: Oh thank you so much! I’ve never used a pc before; this is going to be exciting!
Virginia!! There is no damn Santa Claus!! And God help me! (Marcs' note: I have no idea who Virginia is!)