Saturday, May 31, 2003

Quiz Time


Ripped from Da Goddess.

You are...
What Dreams May Come - "I would goto hell to find you."

Love, above all else, is important to you. When you
love someone, you really love them, and you'd
do anything for them. Sometimes that an get you
into trouble, but to you that isn't important;
what is important is is maintaining the levels
of caring and trust in a healthy relationship.
You little romantic, you.


What movie quote are YOU?
brought to you by Quizilla

Note: I removed the image associated with this quiz because of it's poor quality. It added very little to the result.

Friday, May 30, 2003

Unreal Soldier


This is as close to becoming a soldier as I'll (hopefully) ever be.

Yes, that is MY face. Making 3D textures ("skins") is quite a bit of fun. It's also a work in progress. I'm pretty happy with the armor, but it could still come a LONG way.

Tuesday, May 27, 2003

Fun


http://www.by-art.com/mjong/mjong.asp

Saturday, May 24, 2003

Memorial Day Weekend Photos


Ok so it's a couple days before memorial day but I wanted to share these photos I took. Grandma wanted a picture of the Tennessee capital building, so I went a took a few.



click image for full size

I parked down by the farmers market, just next to the bicentennial Mall. I donned my inline skates and headed to the capital. Skating up steps is NOT easy. Getting down was a whole other story. I got yelled at by the park police. Apparently I wasn't supposed to have my skates up there. Bah! I ended up skating down the hill! Let me tell you, that was an experience I won't soon forget. I was surprised how well the skates rolled on the grass to be honest.

I got to my car, took off my skates, had lunch at the farmers market (they have lots of food stands inside). I then noticed the big black globe. It's a huge hunk of polished granite on a fountain of sorts. Actually I think it "floats" on top of it. I'm not sure exactly, but you can "roll" the globe. I got a few pictures there. Click here for more information about this memorial.


click image for full size

The text reads:

"TENNESSEE WORLD WAR II MEMORIAL - THE STARS BEFORE YOU HONOR THE 5,731 TENNESSEANS WHO MADE THE ULTIMATE SACRAFICE DURING THE GLOBAL WAR.

THE GOLD STAR MOTHERS OF TENNESSEE RECIEVED THIS SYMBOL UPON THE DEATH OF THEIR LOVED ONE.

OPEN TIME CAPSULE BELOW ON 11 NOVEMBER 2045"

The Bicentennial Mall is really a memorial park for all the Tennesseans who have lost their lives protecting the United States. It's a beautiful tribute. The few pictures I took only scratch the surface of the various memorials. They are many and varied though-out the park.

I then headed off to get my hair cut, but I was early for my appointment. I was driving by the Centennial park (where the Parthenon is), so I decided to stop by and take some photos there as well. The city does a good job of making the park a very pretty place to visit.

Click here to see all the photos at ShutterFly.com.

Friday, May 23, 2003

I matter, but what about T?


ZDNet News had an article asking: IT doesn't matter?

The basic premise was that IT has been regulated to the background of most companies instead of the front lines. I say, "Yea and?" IT is not the answer to every problem a company has. It can help solve problems and make things run smoother, but it cannot MAKE a company with no business plan. The "Dot Com Bust" proved that basic business truth. Why people thought tech would be able to sustain a company all by itself is a difficult question to answer. I know I was a bit guilty of that thinking myself. There are a lot of exciting and amazing tech tools out there. It's easy to get overwhelmed in the hype. The tech boom was proof of that. Notice how "killer-app" isn't used as often these days.

The problem is that business, especially smaller companies, do not move at the same speed as technology. These great technologies stress and strain company cultures. It takes time for certain technologies to be accepted by an entire company.

You cannot just throw technology at a problem and expect it to work. The "boom" was doing just that. I and my company was just as guilty. I've learned from my mistakes and have begun to learn how to make the technology we have NOW work better and more efficiently. Actually get the return on investment that we expected.

Riding the upgrade train is not always necessary. I spent a hour with my Microsoft rep and now we'll be buying our software in a very different way. Buying as little from Microsoft as legally possible. This goes for any other software company for that matter.

What will VoIP offer my company over a traditional phone system? Nada. The system would be obsolete and in need of replacement before it's investment had be reaped.

Some companies can do well with throwing tech at certain issues. LCDs use less energy than CRTs, so a company in California where energy has been an issue may save money in the long run buying the more expensive (up-front) LCDs. However my company has its electric bill built into our lease, so saving a few kilowatts makes no difference to the bottom line, thus the power savings cannot be factored into the arguement. Though perhaps eye strain could be.

The point of this ramble is that IT is NOT dead, it is simply evolving into more than just a technology driven department. There is accounting and HR issues that have to be considered. IT should be making the company run better, more efficiently and within the bounds of the company culture. As many of you may know, just because it seems like a good idea doesn't always mean it will. If you force the users too far from their normal work flow to accommodate a new tech tool, they'll quickly ignore it and you've wasted your time and budget. Those were the days of the tech "boom". Those days are over.

Sunday, May 18, 2003

Painting


I'll admit freely I'm not a great painter. All my artistic training was put into drawing. But tonight I felt like painting. Was it good? Uhh...well, not really, but it was interesting.


I call it my demon. It started out kinda like an Alien, then it just evolved. The various colors really mean nothing, I just wanted to keep the body parts separate.

Don't read too much into the subject matter either. I've been drawing monsters and demons for years. Call it therapeutic or whatever. Maybe I just have too much imagination to do things that already exist.

Please ignore the anatomy, what little there is. It's warped and twisted, much like the image itself.

Despite it's oddness I hope you like it anyway.

Saturday, May 17, 2003

Saturday Morning Cartoons


What ever happened to them? There used to be like 3 or 4 hours of cartoons on every single network on Saturday mornings. I remember waking up at about 6 to watch the Muppet Show then watching cartoons for hours, usually ending with Loony Tunes.

Now when I turn the TV on there is hardly anything. FOX has a bunch, but even they are getting lame. ABC has all the Disney approved cartoons. What happened to the good cartoons?

Maybe I'm just old and grouchy now, but I watch as much Cartoon Network as I do Discovery or Comedy Central. I never watch "The Big Three" All these lame reality shows only tells me they aren't living in reality. Screw them. It's all mindless garbage. At least Junk Yard Wars has creativity to it. The people on that show have to have some wits about them and they generally aren't pretty. THAT is my kinda reality TV.

Anyway that was a tangent. I've noticed lately that Cartoon Network is picking up a lot of the good cartoons that Fox dropped. Makes me wonder. I'm not sure of network partnerships and affiliations, but I suspect there is something between the too.

Oh well, I'd rather watch Adult Swim.

Friday, May 16, 2003

Onion Rings?


Ya know Burger King "onion rings" are really not onion rings. They are just hot Funions.

Thursday, May 15, 2003

Quiet Lately


Sorry I've not written in a few days. I've been VERY busy. I cannot write about it now, but I'll try tonight.

Friday, May 09, 2003

Important Quiz


This is a quiz you should take and read carefully. It's not a happy go lucky quick with a funny result. It's serious and should be taken as such.

As a matter of fact, you should print it out and share it with your family and friends. Email it. Link to it. Learn and understand. This is extreamly important.

Oh and btw, if you think its nothing but a bunch of BS... FUCK YOU!



1. Jane Goodall spent 30 years in the wilds of Africa observing chimpanzee behavior. In those 30 years, how many rapes did Goodall see among the chimpanzees?

(a) More than a hundred rapes,

(b) An occasional rape,

(c) No rapes.

In 30 years observations, Jane Goodall never saw one rape among the chimpanzees, our closest primate cousins. Though it's not possible to draw firm conclusions about human behavior from animals, Goodall's findings, and many other recent studies, get us questioning the old myths we have about rape. One of the most persistent myths about rape is that male biology and primitive male sex urges drive men to rape. But current information indicates that rape is more a learned act of sexual violence that comes out of social beliefs that men have a right to dominate and control women. The fact that rape is learned means that we can work to change the underlying beliefs and eliminate rape from our communities.

2. When was the first national study done on rape in the United States?

(a) 1939,

(b) 1955,

(c) 1992.

The first national study on rape, called "Rape in America", was done in 1992 by the U.S. Department of Justice. The fact that as a nation we went to the moon and explored deep into the structure of molecules before we ever seriously asked questions about rape shows how strong is our society's urge to ignore the subject of rape, to ignore the victims, and to ignore the search for solutions to stop rape. One reason there is such a strong tendency to avoid looking at the realities of rape is because these realities clearly expose the very violent means by which many men dominate and terrorize women. Although more people are now willing to talk about rape, we all still have to keep pushing our communities to stay focused on the important work of analyzing and stopping rape.

3. What percent of rapists are male?

98% of rapists are male. Though boys and men are sometimes victims of rape, even in these cases the rapists are almost always male. Some people believe that the reason most all rapists are male is because woman aren't physically capable of rape. But if you think about it, women are equally capable as men of using a weapon to order another person to have sex against their will. Yet it's extremely rare for women to do so. One reason most all rapists are male is because in male dominated societies males are taught in many ways that they are entitled to dominate women. Females aren't taught they are entitled to dominate men.

4. True or False. Constantly bringing up the male versus female aspect of rape is not a good way to talk about rape because it just angers all the men who don't rape.

False. The male versus female aspect of rape needs to be at the center of discussions about rape because it is sexism and the inequalities between males and females that drive rape. In the same way, it would have been impossible to stop the lynching of black people without talking about racism and white people's domination of blacks. Men and boys who don't rape have a very heroic role to play in eradicating rape in our society. They need to join with women in the fight for women's equality. But first they must get over their anger about discussing the facts of male domination of females. There are many men and boys who have done that, and they are making an important difference.

5. What is meant when it's said that all women and girls are victims of rape even though some women and girls have never been raped.

The rape of one woman is a degradation, terror, and limitation to all women. It's similar to the group fear and oppression that terrorized all black people as a result of some black people being lynched. Most women and girls limit their behavior because of the existence of rape. Most women and girls live in fear of rape. Men, in general, do not. That's how rape functions as a powerful means by which the whole female population is held in a subordinate position to the whole male population, even though many men don't rape, and many women are never victims of rape.

6. Name three things that can be done to prevent rape.

The interesting thing about the answers people give to this question is that most responses will be an admonition to females about how females should alter their behavior to prevent rape. People will answer things like, "Never go out alone at night." "Stay alert." "Don't linger on the streets." "Don't tease guys sexually." "Always lock your windows and doors." "Always park where there is good lighting." "Always communicate clearly and assertively that you don't want sex." "Carry a whistle."

Very few of the answers will pertain to how male behavior should be changed despite some very obvious facts: Rape won't stop until male behavior changes. Restricting girls' freedom is unfair. Restricting girls' freedom never has and never will stop rape. Almost every one of the suggestions above are based on false assumptions about rape, and, in reality, do very little to protect girls from rape. Finally, constantly telling girls what they should do to prevent rape sends the harmful message that females, and not males, are responsible if they get raped.

7. So try that question again. Name three things that can be done to prevent rape.

There are many, many things that can be done to prevent rape. Here are three:

A. Protest all degrading and discriminatory treatment of women and girls.

B. Make sure there is equality between boys and girls in the home and school. If, for example, girls have to do more housework than boys, it sends a message that girls are supposed to serve boys, and as the boys get older they think girls should serve them sexually too. Girls and boys must be treated equally.

C. Integrate male dominated institutions at the top. When women hold half the power, rape and rapists will no longer be condoned.

8. In the United States, families set a teenage girl's curfew on an average of two hours earlier than a teenage boy's curfew. Why is this so?

The reason most often given for setting a teenage girl's curfew on the average of two hours earlier than a teenage boy's curfew is to protect girls from sexual assault. In fact, just a generation ago, if a rapist was known to be loose, it was common for cities to put out a citywide order for all females to be in their homes after sunset.

These city wide curfews of a generation ago and the earlier average curfews for girls today are just one of many examples of how restrictions are imposed on females' freedom because of rape, instead of imposing restrictions on males' freedom. Restricting girls' freedom more than boys' freedom is unfair and harmful to girls. It sends the message to both boys and girls that boys can do what they want and girls have to pay the price. This message doesn't prevent rape. In fact, it's one of the attitudes which perpetuates rape. Besides, it doesn't even make sense that girls should be at home earlier than boys. When you think about it, there are a number of late night dangers that affect boys much more frequently than girls, like deadly car crashes.

9. Can you think of a word that is used to describe males that has the equivalent meaning of the words "whore" or "slut" as used to describe females?

The words "whore" and "slut" are very degrading terms used for females who don't keep a tight control on their sexuality. There are no equivalent degrading terms for identical sexual behavior by males. The constant trashing of women's and girls' sexuality with words like "whore", "slut", and "bitch", is not only immediately degrading to the individual, it also contributes to a climate which fosters rape. When free expression of female sexuality is defined as trash, and free expression of male sexuality is defined as good, then it's much easier for men and boys to rationalize doing whatever they want sexually to women and girls.

10. If a fourteen year old is being very sexy and flirtatious with an adult, and feels love for the adult, why is it a crime for the adult to have sex with the teenager?

An adult cannot have sex with a youngster for much the same reason that its against the law for an adult to make a contract with a youngster. There is no way a youngster can set limits on an adult, can foresee the consequences, or protect themselves in the relationship. As such, any adult that has sex with a fourteen year old is automatically in a criminal and abusive relationship with the child.

11. Which is more damaging to the victim, a rape committed by a stranger or a rape committed by someone known to the victim? And why?

Five out of six forcible rapes in the U.S. are committed by someone known to the victim, like a husband, father, brother, neighbor, teacher, uncle, or boyfriend. Even today, many people don't think that rapes committed by someone you know are as serious as those committed by a stranger. Though it's impossible to say which rape is more damaging, being raped by someone you know can be a more intense betrayal of the victim, and can cause the victim to lose fundamental trust in those around her, and to lose trust in herself. One of the reasons rape by someone known to the victim is often not taken as seriously as rape by a stranger is because of the lingering view of women as the property of the men in her life. In fact, when a woman is raped by a stranger, some husbands and fathers still react like they are the victim, because some other man took their property.

12. True or False. Police and other authorities take rape very seriously.

True and False. Some police and authorities take rape very seriously, but way too many continue to protect rapists and ignore the victims and the crime. Just last year 2000: In New York City, TV news video showed police ignoring women's pleas for help when the sexual assaults were occurring right in front of the officers' eyes. In Philadelphia, journalists discovered, and Philadelphia Police finally admitted, that the department had recently dumped upwards of four thousand rape cases. In northern California, the press revealed that Catholic bishops for decades have covered up priests' sexual assaults of children and parishioners in their care. Though there have been some improvements in the last ten years, officials of male dominated institutions, like police, district attorneys, school principals, church leaders, and company managers, continue to have a strong tendency to protect the rapist and sacrifice the victim. This is one of the main reasons rape continues to exist.

13. True or False. Rape is a very easy accusation to make, and a very difficult crime to prove.

False. This is a very old and very frequently repeated myth about rape. According to the FBI, less than 2% of rape reports are false, about the same low percentage as with most other crimes. The myth that rape is an easy accusation to make serves to wrongly undermine women's credibility and the need for women to talk about their experience with rape.

Rape is also not a difficult crime to prove. In the first place, there's usually no who-done-it since the victim usually always knows the perpetrator. In the second place, because the victim and perpetrator usually know each other well, there a number of investigative techniques available to detectives which take advantage of that relationship.Too many police and district attorneys continue to tell the public that rape is a difficult crime to prove in order to make excuses for not prosecuting rape.

14. What percent of rape victims do not report to police?

In the U.S., 84% of forcible rape victims do not report the crime to police. Rape is the most under-reported serious crime in the nation. And even when rape is reported, it has a lower conviction rate than robbery. Most rape victims don't report the rape because they fear that they will be blamed for the rape, that the rape won't be taken seriously, or that she will be stigmatized by the rape. Unfortunately, unless a rape victim gets good support from friends and proper response from authorities, it's still true that many rape victims will be ostracized, blamed, and treated with disregard.

15. If a friend comes to you and says she or he has been raped, what should you do to help?

If you are a youngster, rape is too serious and complex for you or your friend to handle on your own. So the best thing you can do is tell your friend that rape is very serious, and and then encourage your friend that she or he needs to tell an adult who can help. If your friend won't tell an adult, you should tell. At the same time, try not to tell all the other kids.

If you are an adult, believe your friend. Help her find help. And if she wants, always accompany your friend, or find other helpful people who can accompany your friend, whenever she goes to authorities, employers, school officials, union officials, family members etc. to deal with the rape. Just your physical presence will greatly reduce the risk that your friend will be treated badly. It will also give her the comfort and support she needs.

Copyright © Marie De Santis,
Women's Justice Center,
www.justicewomen.com



Thanks for reading. I hope this opened your eyes a bit. It's not an easy thing to look at but we must. Rape is something that ALL men should feel ashamed about.

Tuesday, May 06, 2003

Happy Days


Those few of you who read my blog regularly (thank you BTW) probably had noticed me kinda down lately. Well I'm back on the upswing now. :)

This means it's back to the gym. I took more than a month off from the gym because of things. I just didn't much feel like going and working out, even though it's great stress relef. I was feeling to self-destructive to want to do something that healthy. But I went back Monday night. My ex-trainer yelled at me for being gone. I kinda was glad for that actually. I would have been disappointed otherwise. It's nice to be noticed, if only in your absence.

Working out again means I need to start improving my eating again. I'm so bad about eating and worse when I'm depressed. Some people eat, I don't eat or eat poorly. I feel like I'll be able to pick things back up pretty quickly though. I rebound well, not only mentally but physically as well. I've got to get pumped up about drinking those nasty protein drinks again now. Ugh.

I don't care how "good" they claim to taste or really how good they are for you, protein shakes are pretty nasty. The nutrition bars are about as bad. Someone like me doesn't have to worry much about carbs, I burn them off as fast as I can feed them to my body, but most people aren't like me, so the shakes and bars are made with artificial sweetners or too little sugar making them taste funny or like eating dirt. I might as well take nutritional pills or something. I'm sure they aren't as readily absorbed into the body, thus not as good, but still...

I don't HAVE to eat or drink that stuff, but I'm a slim dude, no getting around it. Without suplimental protein I'm not going to build much muscle. I did gain some, since the beginning of the year when I started, but mostly I just got my body in shape and lost a little fat I had begun to collect, mostly at the sides of my abs, the vestiages of love handles. Most guys would have killed to have as little fat as I did, but as lean as I am all over the rest of my body it felt funny.

So anyway, back to the main point. I'm doing well and I plan to keep this way. :) Summer is right around the corner and school will be in the fall (oh i haven't blogged about that yet. Guess you'll have to wait for that report.) My sweety loves me dearly and we make each other smile without even trying. That alone is enough to make me walk on clouds. :)

Sunday, May 04, 2003

A couple of online computer parts store reviews



NewEgg.com - I don't recall how I stumbled across this site, perhaps Computer Shopper magazine, but since then I've been nothing but happy with them. They have great prices and service. One of the great features is the ability for users to write reviews for the products. An item that has a great price may be a lemon or it might be a fantastic deal. The reviews can help you determine. They are written by every day people, not professional review writers so you're going to get the real deal on products, not marketing fluf.

They sell retail and OEM products. Those not familiar with OEM (Original Equipment Manufacturer) parts, these are the parts that places like Dell, Gateway, and the local computer store buy to build systems. This means they often don't have manuals, extra cables and software. You can save 10-15% or more going with OEM parts. For example, the Matrox G550 video card sells retail for about $120. NewEgg sells an OEM version for $95. If you know what you are looking for and do a little research ahead of time (to make sure you don't skimp yourself of something you need), OEM parts are great. One last note of warning. Some OEM parts are "tuned" down, to encourage people to buy the retail versions. ATI is the one company that pops to mind that is guilty of this.

Shipping has also been exceptional. NewEgg uses FedEx as their primary shipper. The shipping rates are always low and in some cases FREE. The parts are shipped from California. Living in Nashville Tennessee I get my parts in 2-3 days.

I have not had to return anything to NewEgg so I cannot speak for their return policy, but my experience with them thus far has been a 5 out of 5.




Xoxide.com - I found this website looking for PC cases. Not being a person to go nuts with customizing my computer with lights and windows, I thought the site was a bit overkill. And in some respects it is. However they have some redeeming features.

The first thing I noticed is how affordable their parts were. I could buy a computer case for $20 at NewEgg, but it would be junk. I purchased a case for a guy at work from Xoxide and I was pleasantly surprised. It has a window already put into the side of the case. It's not top quality but it's well done. The case by itself is very nice as well. It has places for four 80mm cooling fans, 2 in the front and 2 in the back. Xoxide only charged $8 to ship four fans for the case. That's a good deal for the insurance that extra cooling and airflow in your computer provides. Put together the case was solid and very quiet considering the number of fans (4 case fans, 1 power supply fan, 1 CPU fan and one video card fan), 7 in all.

Xoxide definitely caters to the case mod'er. It's easy to "rice out" your computer at this site. They have pretty much any part you could want or need to do so, even individual LEDs!

They haven't been all peaches and cream though. The case box was shipped in another larger box with haphazard shipping. It was almost like they had to scrounge around for packing material, including empty boxes for other things (I got excited that they shipped some goodies for free). The box the computer case was in had a great deal of water damage. The case itself was fine and showed no evidence of water ever touching the case itself, but that makes me question the location of their warehouse, if there is one.

Xoxide uses Yahoo Stores for its shopping cart back-end. Yahoo Stores works fine, no problem there, but it gives you an idea of the side of Xoxide. Makes me wonder if they are storing things in mom and dads garage.

Inventory control seems to be a bit of a problem for them too. They have a number of products that are out of stock or over stocked and on sale. Inventory control is always difficult but I worry that it could be the downfall for this company. They have the right idea, just not the right business processes. At least that's how I'm seeing it.

I've been waiting for almost 2 months for a particular computer case to be available from them. I still want it, but I may have to get white instead of
black. That's a minor problem, but still disappointing.

Again I cannot speak for returns, but I would rank Xoxide at 3 out of 5.

Friday, May 02, 2003

If you aren't part of the solution, you are a part of the problem.



I've never really understood that phrase. It only now makes real sense. My previous post ended on basically that thought. I didn't so much end because I had nothing else to say but because it stopped me dead in my tracks.

It's easy to find mediocrity in your life. Things are just good. I'm reading a book called, "From Good to Great" and it has kinda made me think about this a bit, but it fits on a personal level as well as business level (as the book is primarily presented). But if you want things to be great you have to work to do so.

I've been stuck in a rut a number of times in my life. I suspect many people do. Some find a rut and are quite content there. Others hate it but still remain because they are too scared to jump out. I've riden from rut to rut. But I'm not in a 4x4 Jeep. Sometimes I get stuck longer than I want, love it or hate it. Other times I can transition easily from one to another.

Ruts are places where we are safe. Things don't change dramatically. You have a pretty good idea how you're day to day life will turn out. Unfortunatly we get used to this safety zone. We put the blinders on and don't see what else is out there for us. I made a significant and difficult jump from a safe place in Nebraska to Nashville, where I knew only a couple people and not very well. I barely had a job or place to stay. I almost gave up 3 months into it. Today I can look back on that and be thankful. My life has accelerated 100 fold since moving. I've grown in leaps and bounds, both personally and professionally.

Now I'm looking to go back to school. I'm getting a lot of support about that, but if I wasn't getting support or rather people telling me to stay where I am, they'd be working against me. My boss could suggest rather than take business classes that I go get some computer certifications instead. That way he'd not loose me as a network admin. He'd be keeping me in my rut. Luckly he isn't doing that.

The point is that people can easily unintentionally stunt the growth of others. This goes with relationships as well. Any relationship where cooperation is needed. If I'm helping you move but we are not using the same game plan we are going to work against each other. You may want to put the couch in first, but if I piled in a bunch of boxes, I have wasted my time and frustrated you.

As with most things, communication is the key. Even if not planned well out in advance communication can still be made in the process. "Wait, let's get the couch in and then the boxes. Ok?"

On the same token just because I screwed up and put the boxes in first doesn't necessarily mean I'm no good for helping you move. It just means I need to move those boxes and now communicate with you, "What is the plan of attack? What do you want to put in the truck next?" If there is no plan then one needs to be made, together.

Here are two reactions that will not help:


  • Ok, since you are so smart, you do it. I'll be over here out of the way. Let me know when you're done.

  • Just let me do it by myself. You're only going to get in my way.



Yes, I'm over simplifying, however I suspect we have all been on one end of that situation at one point or another and have probably heard or said phrases very similar.

I'm just as guilty. I read what I write and I think to myself, "Gee Marc why can't you live up to you're own expectations of the rest of the world?"

Two reasons:


  1. I'm human, not perfect.

  2. I don't expect the world to be able to live up to anything I write.



I'm human, not perfect. - Easily said as an excuse, but frankly it's true. We are flawed by nature. No matter our best intentions, dreams, hopes and promises, we will fail. We can suceed many times, but there will always be a few taints of failure in there. Ha, "few" I say. More like a lot. Even those who work very diligently to not fail do so often. Maybe a few isolated monks in some hidden monistary might have a low failure count, but the rest of us are mostly screw ups trying to win a few battles where we can and relishing in them because the rest is shit.

I don't expect the world to be able to live up to anything I write. - I'm no Messiah. I don't have all the answeres and the ones I have certainly are not guarenteed. On top of that the only person I really can expect to live up to my writings and thoughts is myself. I write and say these things more for my own benifit than anyone elses. If others can learn and walk away with some nice nugget of knowledge about themselves by reading these things I'm quite glad for their sake, but I do not expect it.

I have to ask myself, "Am I helping or hurting? Am I doing everything I can to make things as good as I can?" Not just for myself but for those in my life. There in lies the rub. The balance of all of your struggles. Work. Love. Self. They should weave together to create a beautiful tapestry. At least that's what we all hope.

Passing the blame.


I've been thinking about this topic a lot off and on for awhile now. I wrote down in my notepad late in the evening one night my thoughts about what I see as the biggest problem at work is. Personality conflicts occur, but they are not really a problem. I think the core problem is that no one wants to take responsibility for their mistakes.

The ball gets dropped once in awhile. It happens. There are ways to help but that's not the problem. The problem is that the people who drop the ball don't take responsibility for their mistakes and try to pass the blame to someone else. It doesn't matter if they do it on purpose or not.

When the blame has been shifted people try to "fix" the person or group or process that was blamed. That fixes nothing because the real problem is not being seen. Fixing the wrong "problem" only leaves the real problem unresolved and ripe to reoccur.

When the problem happens again the blame is already shifted to the wrong place, by the first precedence, and resources are wasted.

If and when the REAL problem is identified then, and only then, do things get fixed.

This doesn't just apply to work either. It applies to all of life. People are always looking for scape goats and excuses to blame. I have done it myself and probably will again, even knowing the situation.

I don't believe most people do this on purpose. Some of it is cultural. Some of it is ingrown from childhood. Some of it is totally unconscious. We look out for our personal best interests. I think that's instinct. But what makes humans better than animals is that we control our instincts.

I'm well aware of the difficulty in changing your way of thinking to take more responsibility of your actions. Look at the joke our legal system has become. Our culture has evolved (not necessarily for the better) to make excuses. "It's not my fault because..."

I don't like to admit my failures any more than anyone else, but how can we grow and be better people if we don't? In a business if individuals do not take responsibility then they are not looking out for the best interests of the company but of themselves. A job is not the end all, be all, of most peoples lives, but at the same time, if you are not working to better the company you are working against it.

Thursday, May 01, 2003

So what color do YOU see the world in?


My result doesn't really suprize me. I doubt it would suprise too many others who know me either. It's not a bad thing really. An even keel is a pretty good thing to have.


YOu see the world in Neutral
Neutral:
Harmony and balance is key. You don't look at the
world in a negative or positive way and you'll
never judge or assume a situation- you just
look at the facts. People like you are peaceful
and accepting.


What color do you see the world in?
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Hell Bound


The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Second Level of Hell!

You have come to a place mute of all light, where the wind bellows as the sea does in a tempest. This is the realm where the lustful spend eternity. Here, sinners are blown around endlessly by the unforgiving winds of unquenchable desire as punishment for their transgressions. The infernal hurricane that never rests hurtles the spirits onward in its rapine, whirling them round, and smiting, it molests them. You have betrayed reason at the behest of your appetite for pleasure, and so here you are doomed to remain. Cleopatra and Helen of Troy are two that share in your fate.

Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

LevelScore
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)High
Level 2 (Lustful)Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)Low
Level 7 (Violent)Moderate
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test