Beware of ones self
Ever try to make someone be something they are not because you want to be that something yourself but you fail? So you see in them the chance to do what you could not, but then ignore the fact that they too cannot do it or do not want to do it. But you ignore them when they say they can't. You push them thinking that they just need a push and they can do it.
Ya know what, that is a very very dangerous thing to do. Even if you know someone with amazing insite, you cannot say with any certainty that they can or cannot do something. And what if they are already tired and worn from something else? How can you expect them to give 100% plus the extra 10% you want them to give it? How can you expect that when they don't want to do it in the first place.
Looking back at yourself after the fact you ask, "Could you have done what you asked them to do?" You know in your heart that your answer is no and the guilt streams in. But you deserve the feelings. They can only be a fraction of what you put them through.
If you really care you have to put aside your anger and disappointment in yourself and help them pick up the pieces of their life that you smashed with a big hammer.
Don't be a coach if you were not asked to be. I'm supposed to be a knight, not a coach. I really screwed up. Now to pick up the pieces.