Sunday, October 20, 2002

I get bored sometimes

Yeah well who doesn't right? Well I started thinking about it and I really don't have a reason to be bored. I mean with all my interests I should always have plenty to do! And I do. I have books, my computer, my camera, etc etc. So what's the problem?

The problem is I have no challenge! I'll stumble across something that interests me and I'll run with it for a little while, but as soon as the challenge is gone I drop it. The initial challenge is the learning. If something interests me I enjoy learning about it.

Occasionally someone will challenge me. Work and Melly usually. When that happens I'm forced (in a good way) to dive back into what caught my interest to start with. This also gets my perfectionist tendencies working in a positive direction. In other words, when I'm challenged I do my best work.

I realized this evening that is why I get bored sometimes on the weekends and evenings. If I'm in learning mode I'm ok, but otherwise i need something to do. Ok so it sounds a bit pathetic, but I need a task master. I need a wife! LOL ;) I have just the woman in mind too. :)

In all seriousness this is an important revelation for me. I know I'm an intelligent guy but I had a terrible time in college, with a few exceptions. I have to learn a certain way. The class has to maintain my interest and without an instructor/professor who can or will challenge me personally I will loose interest in the class and I won't do well. In other words I need an instructor who can work with me one-on-one. Any one who's been to today universities and colleges knows that one-on-one work with your instructor is nearly impossible, unfortunately. There are exceptions, but not many.

I think this is why most of my knowledge has been self taught. When I got into computers professionally, I had taught myself roughly 90% of all the computer skills I had. Now it's probably closer to 98-99%. Lots of trial-and-error as well as reading. I'm doing the same now with physics. I'm doing a lot of reading and thinking. I've even considered trying to reteach myself calculus.

I could probably do better now back in school, but at this point I can't see why I should. If I can teach myself with less cost and more interest, isn't the savings worth it? With a professor I'm going to be forced, challenged, to learn more and in a more well rounded format. Doing it myself I can put the cart before the horse.

Actually one day I want to teach. I want to challenge kids to learn more about their world around them. I think why I want to teach is because I suspect there are many other kids and adults who learn like I do. The idea you can teach en mass and expect people to really be able to do anything with that knowledge seems a little off to me. You should WANT to know more than what is in the text book. That book is only a guide. I had instructors like that in college. I had one tell the whole class that if you couldn't memorize the things in the book and in his lecture we wouldn't pass. I didn't pass, twice! The third time I had a different, better instructor and got an A.
Well I've strayed from the point, but the basic point is that I've learned some thing very important about myself and why I didn't do well in college. Perhaps this knowledge can help me in the future, as I'll have to go back to school if I want to be a teacher some day.

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